The nature of sexual fantasies is they push the boundaries a bit, letting you imagine situations that occur infrequently, if at all, and exploring the depths of your desires. "Fantasies are fantasies because they are not reality — they are often taboo or rub up against social barriers," says Ian Kerner, PhD, a men's sexual health expert and co-author of The Big Fun Sexy Sex Book. Men tend to have core thematic fantasies that they can return to again and again, he adds, and "then there are fantasies that men would enjoy in the way they surf TV, exploring what catches their eye or their mood."
here are 9 of the most common men's sexual fantasies.
Perhaps one of the simplest male sexual fantasies is just having his partner direct the sex script for the night. "Whether it is a full-on dominatrix or simply a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it, many men find the thrill of a confident and sexual woman to be very appealing," explains Laura Berman, PhD, a sex expert and author of Loving Sex: The Book of Joy and Passion. "It can be tiresome to always feel like the pursuer. Feeling pursued can be a very sexy change, and it can also be a huge ego boost," she says.
Oral Sex, Especially if His Partner Doesn’t Typically Go ‘Down’
The most common men's sexual fantasies are about partners doing things they wouldn't ordinarily do, says the sex researcher Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle and the coauthor of The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship. Dr. Schwartz and her colleagues surveyed 100,000 adults about their marriages, touching on topics including money and sexual fantasies. "This one was really common: The wife doing oral sex if she didn't do oral sex," says Schwartz.
Could More Be Merrier? Having a Threesome
"What could be better than one woman?" asked Schwartz. "Two" was the answer.
At least, that's what the heterosexual men in her survey and her undergraduate
classes reported. Chances are good that dreaming about a threesome
(or, as it's called in French, a ménage à trois) is on the list of most men's sexual desires.
And yet Schwartz says she hasn't come up with a practical response to the question
some guys have asked her: "How do I get my lover to participate in a threesome?"
Yes, He Wants to Try Anal Sex With You
Another common male sexual fantasy is having anal sex with a partner
who doesn't usually (or ever) do it, Schwartz found in her research.
"How do I get my girlfriend to enjoy anal sex?" is another question that
comes up often among her students. Men fantasize about what they
aren't getting, Schwartz observes. If anal sex is something you and your
partner would like to try, do your research to make it fun, safe, and pleasurable
for both partners.