How to deal with undue jealousy in your relationship
First of all, rein in your insecurities.
Suspicious partner
Jealousy isn’t such a bad thing in relationships, they say. It’s not uncommon to hear people opine that it’s not wrong to feel some type of way when your partner gets comfortable with a member of the opposite sex.
And to be frank, there’s an undeniable truth to that. That type of jealousy stems from a need to protect your interest in the person. You don’t want to lose them, and you don’t want to lose your place in their life. Expressing that, especially when it seems like there could be a threat to your place in your partner’s life isn’t a bad thing. Everyone is allowed to be vulnerable in relationships. No one can fault that.
Man angrily speaking with woman [Credit: Getty]
DORIS
However, there’s a jealousy that crosses the border of logic into downright unreasonable. Undue jealousy, especially when manifested in unreasonable ways is really not cute and can be toxic, disruptive and very, very problematic.
Owing to that, we present you, ways to outrightly deal with jealousy in a relationship – not just suppress it.
1. Accept that jealousy is normal, but too much of it is abnormal
How do you deal with a problem when you do not see it as one? So the first step to staying on the right side of this jealousy coin is to actually admit that while trying to ‘keep those bitches’ or ‘those motherfuckers’ off your partner, you could overstep the boundaries of reason.
2. You’ve got to talk about it
Either with your partner or someone else who understands and can help deal with the issue, it’s important to talk and find healthy way to express how you feel and how it affects the relationship.
One huge factor of [extreme] jealousy is usually an issue of self-esteem in the person feeling it. Being an insecure can easily bring about jealousy.
You need to be self-assured, and also assured in the belief that your partner is yours and bonding with someone else over an interest you don’t share with them is not something to be worried about.
Your insecurity will easily lead to jealousy. Easily. [Credit: DORIS] Man angrily speaking with woman [Credit: Getty]
DORIS
You pretty much can’t cover all the bases of pleasing someone an it’s OK. You are till enough for your man or woman regardless of that.
So, if there’s a specific person in your SO’s life that you’re always feeling jealous of, stop stalking her Instagram page at every free moment and comparing yourself to this person. The ongoing comparisons are not only unnecessary; they might also end up eating you alive.
4. Learn to trust
You just have to believe that your partner is yours. If you are going to be in that relationship, regularly doubting its genuineness is going to drive you nuts.
If you you can’t bring yourself to trust it, it may be better to let it end.
Your insecurity will easily lead to jealousy. Easily. [Credit: DORIS]
DORIS
5. Learn to control your feelings
Sure, they say to trust you gut at all times, and that’s a thing. But before letting your thoughts and ideas roam too far, be sure you even have something to worry about.
Let your partner live. Being with you doesn't have to be all there is to their lives.
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